…You know how I know? Because, depending on the age, you’ll know how much more time you could potentially spend in jail.

LT

Dear Mr. LT (not really, but just for effect),

Please tell me why you, Lawrence Taylor (Yes, the old-school LT), are even uttering the words, I thought she was 19? Why, LT, why are you even interested in a female with “teen” after her age (Okay, wait, besides the perkiness, tightness, and “naiveness”)? You are “LT”, still one of the greatest ever to step foot on the football field and play at the top of the game as a professional player in the NFL for the New York Giants. You struck fear in your opponents and talked “ginormous” trash with the best of ‘em (Ali included… in my opinion), yet here we are…Were you confused and thought her pimp said her name was Jus-tine, or Les-teen, or maybe even Augus-tine versus him saying she’s 16?

So, am I to believe that you didn’t have sex with her and only, I repeat, only performed a “masturbatory act”? What? Okay (Sigh!). You know, for me, “convenient” comes to mind when I think of this “act”, especially when I think of New York’s law that pretty much says it will put someone under the jail for having sex (the regular kind) with a minor of  age 17 and under. Now, you know what? I’m actually believing you. This wasn’t even hard for me… I mean, after saying she was abused and raped, the young lady then said she was apparently over joyed in feeling like she didn’t have to do anything and still got $300, so I’m okay with that (And wait, the whole $300 is another matter… You are a legend. Can a sista’ get more than $300?). Okay I’m back…

All joking aside, Mr. LT… I would think at this time in your life you’d like to have the negative life issues to a minimum. I mean, you kicked the famed drug habit years ago and we haven’t heard about any run ins with the law for some time. You even got your dance on during your stint on Dancing with the Stars… So, why now? Why this? Why you? I’m sure this won’t keep you down, but maybe in the future you’ll contact Patti from Millionaire Matchmaker. I’m sure she’ll be able to find you a more suitable match… Someone still much younger (Let’s say 35ish), but someone who, I’m sure, will only require a recent photo and not a mug shot or pimp referral.

Fondly,

A fan of legal age

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