An Understatement?… Uh, No
Posted by VeRonda Wicks September 16th, 2009[While I'm away, the guest writer will play... Trust me, this is a great read!...]
When I first started dating my now-husband way back in college, he made one thing very clear from the beginning: On Saturdays, he watched football. Every Saturday. All day. Without exception. This was not so much a stubborn stance or challenge, but rather just a standard let’s-get-to-know-each-other fact. Like “hey, I prefer my eggs scrambled,” or “geez, I can’t stand those creepy Geico commercials.”
Let me tell you, the man was not exaggerating. Saturdays were for college football, period. At 9:00 AM (we were back in Oklahoma, where everything starts an hour earlier than it does out East), College Gameday came on, and there was no looking back. Fourteen hours and 265,478 games later—give or take a few—the day would come to a close.
(Look, I realize that this blog is geared more toward pro sports, so allow me to explain: The NFL has 32 teams. That gives you, oh, 16 games to keep up with every week—fewer, really, when you figure in the bye weeks. NCAA Division IA football has 120 teams. ONE HUNDRED AND TWENTY. And? They play teams from other divisions as well. So every weekend, there are countless games to follow.)
…But I digress. My point is, the man was smart. There’s something about full disclosure at the beginning of a relationship that establishes some kind of immunity against any future negotiation. I knew what I was getting into, and I still dove into things headfirst, so I had zero recourse when Saturday rolled around and those tickets to the matinee went untouched. Trip to the museum? Nope. Picnic in the park? Sorry.
As much as I may have wanted to pout and hold my ground, it didn’t take long for me to realize that I really liked spending time with this guy, and if I wanted to see him at all on Saturdays, I’d need to buck up and plop down on the couch next to him. Lucky for me, he thought I was pretty swell to hang out with as well, so he did all he could to make that time fun for us both.
We’d laugh about the ref with his belt cinched ridiculously high up on his waist, cringe for those sad fans in cracked body paint and curly wigs whose team was getting whooped, and try to figure out just what purpose those skinny little arm bands serve. He’d patiently explain to me over and over again what the difference is between off-sides and a false-start; why this was pass interference but that wasn’t. And he only teased me a little bit when I chose my five favorite teams based on fight song, uniform color, and mascot (OU, Michigan, Tennessee, Georgia, and Penn State, in case you’re wondering).
Meanwhile, I like to think that I’ve enlightened him on some crucial things he may not have noticed otherwise: Those buckeye stickers on the Ohio State helmets? They bear a remarkable resemblance to marijuana leaves. The guy next to the cameraman? Totally just picked his nose. That cowboy mascot with the huge papier-mâché head? Ridiculously creepy. Those Miami cheerleaders? They’re wearing boyshorts. (Okay, so maybe he’d have noticed that one.)
The bottom line is, we balance each other out. Now, 10 full college-football seasons later, I am officially a “fan.” Saturdays are our time together. We stock up on beer, whip up some deviled eggs and burgers, and settle in for a full day of games. These days, I can spot a false start a mile away, and we still chuckle like 5-year-olds whenever the commentators refer to the penetrating D. (What, was that over the line?)
Jennifer Solomon, Whimsy│Reason Boutique






September 16th, 2009 at 9:48 pm
“We’d laugh about the ref with his belt cinched ridiculously high up on his waist”
You mean “cinched at his waist (rather than below it on his hips, as is currently fashionable).” There’s only one waistline, although with the obesity epidemic, it’s hard to find in most people. For reference: It’s the narrowest part of the abdomen, or if you’re fat, at your elbows when your arms are hanging loose.
Having the belt on your actual waist if you’re not a fatty has some advantages: it holds your pants up without having to “cinch” it, and it prevents the permanently visible beltline dent on your body when you take your clothes off, the line above which your belly starts to hang over as your fat cells are permanently repositioned above it.
If your belt needs to be “cinched,” consider function over fashion, and look for higher waisted pants. Wearing something that isn’t in fashion is also good for building genuine self confidence.
September 17th, 2009 at 8:22 am
What a post…. V where did you find Jennifer??? Can she give lessons on ways a wife can come into the relm of sports. Im not asking much.. I just want mine to understand on Sunday’s starting at 11 there ESPN’s NFL Sunday Countdown, then at noon there is the NFL Today, then a 1 the Raven’s game…”What time is it??!!!”… Ok im back.. That is, unless they play at 4… So its been like 7 years now and I still get questions like does SD (as in the Chargers) stand for South Dakota… I want to screaaaaammmmm…
I will be first in line when your book comes out!!!
September 17th, 2009 at 12:09 pm
Hi Chris, thanks for the insight and for stopping by.
Hey David, uh, did you tell your wife this from the beginning (i.e. dating?)? That was the key…
September 22nd, 2009 at 2:10 pm
Sounds like 10 great years of love and football! You knew what you were gettind in for and it made you both happy.
WONDERFUL guest post.
September 23rd, 2009 at 4:15 pm
I’m telling you, Jannie, it seems that way, huh? LOL…